In that past few years, there has been an explosion in the sales of bicycle related gadgets and propaganda. White people across the country have been buying carriers, trailers, heavy duty locks and bumper stickers in what is clearly a growth sector of the economy.

While most of these accessories are utilized to transport bicycles long distances to take on short rides during nature getaways, there are some Americans that are feeling the pull to ride their bicycle without mounting it on a car first.

Here’s Gerald Nash trying out his new grocery carrier he is planning to utilize outdoors “really soon.”

Take Gerald Nash of Monona, WI for example. He is going to bed tonight with a big decision to make. “I bought a ‘my other car is a bicycle’ bumper sticker from the critical mass booth at the farmer’s market and just put it on my car” the 34 year old software analyst explained. But tomorrow morning is supposed to be warm and sunny, which is where the conundrum reared its ugly head.

He also just bought a $1800 racing bike a few months ago and he “hasn’t been able to put the miles on it that he wants.” So with the sudden upward tick in the temperature, you would think that Mr. Nash would jump at the chance to get out on the bike paths and ride the 6 mile trek to work and back tomorrow.

“I love riding my bike, believe me I do” Nash said, “but I feel that my biggest mission right now is raising awareness, and the best way to do that is by driving my car with the new bumper sticker on it. It is such a hard decision to make given the unseasonably warm weather tomorrow.”

Like many douchebags, Mr. Nash is in the midst of one of the great conundrums of modern yuppie-dom. Do he really want to live a different lifestyle by riding his bike to work, or does he just want to show that he has the means to do so?

“Not just tomorrow, but it is always a tough decision” Nash concurred. “I want to do my part to make this world a better place by riding, but I have to figure out the best way I can set the example.”

In the end, Mr. Nash said he was “leaning toward” driving in case the weather report was off and he might have an errand come up while he was at work and didn’t want to be “all sweaty” from his ride.

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