While trying to balance his checkbook over the weekend, Prime Minister Meowi, below, was put at ease with the knowledge that his account would be backed by $250,000.
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In a day of wild trading on Wall Street, stocks initially took their weekly “Monday Morning Plummet” before a rally on news that things could not possibly get any worse. “We all know that the market hates Monday’s anyway, but when things are this shitty, it has to drop for a few hours based on [...]
With oil prices falling more than a third from their trading high over the summer, congressional officials are calling for more hearings on speculation in the oil markets. Rep. Duncan Hunter held a press conference Friday to discuss the matter. “I have had high level discussions with oil industry officials as well as some diplomats [...]
In breaking news last night, the nation’s largest thrift was deemed insolvent by the government due to a classic “run on the bank” scenario. When questioned about it this morning, Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson tracked it back to a single transaction by one WaMu account holder that “set the bank over the top.”
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“Prosperity Gospel” minister Joel Osteen has decided to step in to the problems with the financial crisis on Wall Street. “I have spent the past few days reaching out to several CEO’s on Wall Street to get them the message that they don’t need a bailout from our leaders in Washington, they just need to [...]
In an unprecidented move today, President Bush introduced a new plan to revive our economy and stave off financial disaster. Though the plan is controversial, and details have yet to be outlined, Congressional Democrats are supportive with Speaker Pelosi saying that she is “excited that something like this plan will finally be introduced by this [...]
In an interesting mix of real estate oriented reality television and a new take on the game show format is the reported direction A&E will be going with this season’s new series “Lose This House.” In house producer and lead developer of the series, Santez Shocklee, explained in a recent press release that “Lose” will [...]
Major cocaine and marijuana distributors across the country are ratcheting down on credit lines to more risky dealers. “I don’t front out nearly as much product to some of my more ’sub-prime’ part-time dealers” a marijuana dealer in the Chicago area known as Big Pino said. “I am looking for collateral on all credit transactions [...]
From a remote region of Pakistan, Osama Bin Laden apologized for his “silly jihad phase” and has said that he wants back into the family business.
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In recent months a common justification for Iraq has been that if we don’t fight the jihadists there, we will have to fight them here on the home front. Well, in the rural Illinois town of Bullpit, there has been a rising tide of voices here that are repeating the all-too-familiar words “bring it on!”
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